Home from the Expo

Well, the Expo was a great experience. My favorite instructor was Kathy Ruddy, who currently has a Craftsy class! As soon as I see a sale, I'm signing up.


She reminded me of the brunette in the Bangles for some reason, and she has the cutest little voice that squeaks at times. The class was 4 Steps to Perfect Pants, and she asked the 3 of us who were there first if anybody had a flat seat. I raised my hand, then she asked me to stand up and turn around. Well, then she inspected everybody's derriere as they walked in the class. She literally took their ticket and told them to lift their shirt and turn around so she could classify their tush. When class got started, she said, "Okay, I need Lynn to stand up. Let's look at Lynn's flat, dropped seat." (Nice.) She then called the others by name and listed their issue while we checked them out - hilarious.

And I had previously thought that Cynthia Guffey sitting wide-legged on the floor in her skirt to demonstrate something was the best moment of the week, but Kathy topped it. While demonstrating an elastic waistband, she proceeded to shuck off her pants and put on a different pair. When the ladies started laughing, she told us she had to do that for her stage presentation after the class. And sure enough, she got up on that stage with male vendors all around and proceeded to drop her pants, walk around with them at her ankles, and change clothes. Somebody asked if she wanted to tell the men to look away, but she said, "No, I'm not fun anymore. If I was 20 years younger, then they'd want a look!"

Oh, but that reminded me of Cynthia's funniest moment.


We had a small hand-stitching class in the Marriott Boardroom at the end of a long day, and she sat on the floor to take off her silk blouse. She said, "Y'all, I want to give you a tip about keeping makeup off your clothes when you take 'em off." She then proceeded to put a giant pair of granny panties on her head with her face covered up, and changed into a T-shirt. We were all laughing, but then she said that they used to make something similar that zipped over your head. It made her claustrophobic, but the panties at least had 2 leg holes where you could gasp for air if you got nervous...and then she demonstrated. What a hoot! And I got her favorite saying wrong in the other post. It's not "do you know what I'm talking about," it's "do you know what I'm saying." And she says it very sternly. She's like an evangelist preaching better sewing techniques. "You've got to motivate...before you communicate," and "opportunity favors the prepared" were a couple of her themes.

So after meeting some awesome women, picking up some great tips, and getting just generally motivated, I went to see Captain Phillips with my brother and SIL last night. Okay, I thought Gravity was a really good movie, but this one might have blown it out of the water - oh, a pun. Of course you know how this ends, but it's the most tense movie I've seen in a while. Elizabeth and I were both shaking at some points, and my brother reported chill bumps. I think Tom Hanks needs an Oscar nomination for the ending especially - so emotional!


Alright, I'm going see if there's an age limit to apply for the Navy Seals, and if they take women. Or...maybe I'll just get upstairs and finish my bags!