Tuesday, March 31, 2009

American Idolicious!

We are truly American Idol freaks this year. We've been watching off and on for years since Reuben was on stage, but the past 2 years have turned into a family obsession. Michael Johns was my desktop background for many weeks, and I proudly point out that the "judges' save" was instituted after he was eliminated prematurely.

This year Adam may end up as my desktop, though Kris Allen is giving him a run for the money. That kid is so darn cute! Now Adam does need to lose the Elvis/Kurt Russell hairdo, but he has torn up 3 old songs in a row - I've downloaded Ring of Fire (the most bizarre!) and Tracks of My Tears wasn't available yet. I don't think I'll buy Play That Funky Music White Boy, but he totally pulled that off when I thought it would suck.

I've got to admit that I must have writer's block to be blogging about American Idol. What's happening here? I've got a funny idea about a bathing suit blog, but it involves pictures, so I anticipate a bit of a backlash. Let me think about it...

Oh, and P.S. I hypothesize that Paula and Simon are dating - always holding hands and acting stupid - you mark my words!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Flirtatious disappointment

Well, the Flirty Girl disappoints just a bit. The Chair Dance was a very nice routine with a chair. I didn't see how it was "exercise" except when you lie all the way back and then have to hike yourself back up to sitting. And maybe you're working on flexibility when you throw a leg over the chair back. And possibly when you stand up from the chair, leading with the pelvis. And definitely when you lift yourself sideways with your hand on the seat and your legs pointed out to the side - picture a tripod or something - and you sort of walk your feet back and forth while twisting at the hips. Are you gettin' this?

Dean just looked very surprised and dismayed (mostly dismayed) when I demonstrated it after one run-through. My 2 coworkers commented that it didn't really look like a workout, but I certainly was breathing hard afterwards....maybe because the chair at work is a ROLLING chair and nearly took my arms out of the sockets during the tripod maneuver.

And I did most of the Booty Beat video tonight. My conclusion is that these really are strippers trying to make a little extra money, because I can now do a corny version of a sexy striptease, but nothing was really feeling the burn like with Buns of Steel. I think the guy on that video may have been a stripper too; maybe I'll have to break out the legwarmers and go back to him. Ready, Tracey?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Making a Scene

Dang my new laptop with Vista! I wrote something and tried to post it last night but it got erased - didn't even save it! Or maybe dang Blogspot! Dang somebody! Well what was so important last night was that my favorite scene from a movie is Sally Field in Punchline (also starring John Goodman and Tom Hanks) where she rushes home with takeout food to throw on the table for her husband's boss's big dinner she's hosting. She and the kids rush into their pantyhose and dresses then throw all the food into bowls to look home-cooked, and she yells for the kid to go long when she throws the bread from the kitchen to the dining room. Then after dinner they find a shoe in the fish tank. (It was so funny last night when I was thinking about it.)

So yesterday I played the part of Sally Field after running home from the dentist with 1 hour to feed the kids and get to Scouts. (We did homework in the car and the dentist's waiting room; thanks for asking.) I threw tortellini and sauce on the stove (I love you Bertolli!) then ran to change clothes, then ran back to grab dishes and ran around the table setting it. It was actually fun pretending to be Sally, but nobody was around to yell "go long!" to; and it was sliced bread, not a loaf of French, so the aerodynamics wouldn't have been good anyway. And the kids got into the act with Lucas running in needing help tucking his Scout shirt into his pants, etc. I'll have to get that movie and show them the scene so they can appreciate the humor in it. Yes, there is always humor in stress, sometimes you just have to look REALLY hard.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Flirty Girl, here I come!

Okay, so the treadmill didn't work out. I did it for about 3 weeks or so, and just haven't had the will to get back on. I need really fast results on these hips and belly and the treadmill's gonna take SO LONG. (P.S. if you're a male, just keep movin' on to your next website....show's over....nothin' to see here.)

So last night during SNL a commercial came on for Flirty Girl Fitness. That's where I'm headed. It's ho-dancin' down low so of course you get fast results right where I need it. You can even order a real pole to install - you thought I was kidding with the "ho" bit? It's only $1 according to the ad. Of course, the small print on the website mentions that shipping and handling is $19.23 and then there are 3 more easy payments of $29 or something like that. Damned expensive pole! That price does NOT include the handyman to put it up.

I'll keep you updated as to my progress - once I get the DVD's in 2-3 weeks. Oh, and they DO come with a pink feather boa to get you motivated! We shall see.....

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Coupons are Here! The Coupons are Here!

We got a Target flier in the mail with lots of coupons - one was for $3 off any Lego toy over $20. We had just BEEN in Target and I let the the kids pick out a toy they could afford with their own money + $10 (so generous!). Lucas only had a few bucks and really wanted the Spongebob set which was $30 - too bad, so sad; hate it FOR ya!

Then the coupon came - a gift from God! I cut it out and gave it to Lucas and explained it was pretty much like $3. His face was incredulous. He said, "Weally? Who sent this to us? Why would they DO that? I can't wait to show Daddy when he gets home!"

He carried it with him all afternoon. It lay on the table next to his plate at dinner. After his shower he asked me if he could bring the coupon in the den to watch American Idol (we haven't figured out which planet Lucas hails from yet). He may not have calculated that by the time it expires, he still won't have saved enough allowance to buy Spongebob....

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Mad Cow Strikes Again

Don't you hate when you plan for several days to go see a high school play with your kids, plan your whole day around showtime (even iron pants, which you NEVER do!), wonder why the parking lot is so empty (maybe because it's a matinee), then have somebody tell you it's NEXT Saturday? I sure hate it. The boys sure hate it. But you know, I'm not the only one with the Mad Cow. Drew must have a touch of it, because he started telling me we had to buy tickets last week, and he even checked showtimes for me on the school's website. So I'm not in this one alone.

Want to hear about my worst attack of Mad Cow? Prepare to be amazed:

A big meeting in New Orleans was coming up - I'd already reserved the hotel room and cancelled work for the week, plus made arrangements for my mom to get the kids to and from school while Dean was working. I talked to somebody actually giving a talk at the meeting and mentioned that it was coming up, and he said he needed to check with his secretary because he thought it was a ways off - he'd better get on the ball, huh!

That Sunday I kissed the family and drove to NOLA only to encounter tons of traffic from Mardi Gras parades - I mean I could hardly get to the hotel! Who was the idiot who scheduled the biggest meeting of all during Mardi Gras??? I finally get there after calling them and asking for suggestions, then have a heck of a time finding parking. I drag my rolling suitcase to the front desk and try to check in.

"We don't have you in the system."
"Did you have a reservation?"
"Of course! I'm with the big meeting."
"Uh....(very embarrassed)...ma'am, the big meeting is NEXT week."
"Oh....uh....see you next week I guess."

Then back to the car for the big breakdown. No, I take that back, I didn't cry until I got out of the damn Mardi Gras traffic - no need to bring all those drunk revelers down! I had a 2-hour drive back home to think about which nursing home I was going to move into...that is if someone didn't commit me to a psych hospital first. Can you imagine the phone calls I had to make? Now my mom has to rearrange the following week's schedule and I have to cancel another week's work, plus scare up some work for THIS week. Now how did I make the hotel arrangements for the correct week then write everything down wrong after that? That's Mad Cow for ya'.

I don't know if that was worse than my Orlando meeting - I can't remember which one happened first. With that one, I made my hotel reservation and a secretary made the flight reservation. (Can you see what's going to happen here?) Yes, I arrived in Orlando at 11 PM only to find that I booked my hotel room a day later. I had to walk around the corner to a Motel 6 to spend the night, again dragging a suitcase. Did I mention it was 11 PM?

I think I could go on about other trips (yes, there was a ski trip where we discovered I booked the wrong return date when we tried to fly home - oops!), but I think you pity me enough now as it is. So if you're ever planning a trip with me, I think you know who's going with us....and remember, that cow is MAD!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Disney pics

Note the stunning skill I exhibited in taking this beautiful snapshot of elephant hineys while bouncing in a moving safari jeep; even zoomed up there's no blurring!!!

Lucas and I were as oblivious as Eeyore to the "chocolate cake" in our future....oh the humanity!

Oh the Fun of a Webcam!

OMIGOSH!!! Who knew what fun a little webcam could be! You can see that we were overwhelmed with the possibilities. This is my very first laptop, so expect plenty more stupid videos! But why does the audio not match the video? Hmmmmmm......

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Back from Disney

We're back from a very tiring week at Disney/Universal. Very fun and nicely planned out with the help of Tour Guide Mike (tourguidemike.com). Couple of comments on Disney: Why is Epcot so spread out? And why, with the Fastpass, do you still have to wait at least 30 minutes to get on Soarin'? TestTrack was everybody's favorite of all the Disney parks, though Universal won for best park overall. And the safari at Animal Kingdom came in 2nd place for Disney - pictures to be posted soon.

Now Everest was pretty cool, but the boys do NOT like going backwards. It was okay for me, but the best roller coaster of the trip was the Mummy ride - again, at Universal! You HAVE to ride that thing! But only if a room catching on fire over your head does not scare you. And only if a very realistic flesh-less man with muscles exposed, dripping blood, and looking burned-up and flayed open doesn't make you sick. And only if being in pitch-blackness not seeing that you're dropping and turning and going backwards and maybe upside down even (?) doesn't upset your stomach. And only if you're not prone to panic attacks, claustrophobia, motion sickness, or explosive diarrhea.

Speaking of explosive diarrhea, we were leaving our lunch at Crystal Palace (who knew the kids liked seeing characters so much?) when we had to wait for a man squatting and wiping what I assumed to be chocolate cake off the floor. Then he took a few more steps and squatted again to wipe up more cake. Then I see his toddler whom his wife is in charge of, and I think, "Why would they let that little kid carry his own chocolate cake - of course he'll drop it." Then I'm wondering how did he drop it all over the lobby. Then I notice the wife is now wiping the child's leg, and I realize it isn't chocolate cake at all!!! AAAARRRGGGHHH!! All castmembers on deck! Code Brown! Code Brown! This is NOT a drill! Watch out Tigger! Heads up Piglet! Eeyore, stay away! Look out, Pooh! LOOK OUT.....POOH!