Goodbye, my old friends. I bought you while at a meeting in Boston 7 years ago so I'd have something professional and sensible to wear to work.
But you're so mannish and square, and I've been searching for something more feminine...but not the Lady Gaga platforms - it's not really cool to wear those to work. Plus you're just so worn out now that people think I'm getting shorter.
And then I had 30 minutes to walk around Soho by myself last weekend, and I found some new friends. They are the answer to 3 years' worth of questions. All I wanted was something brown, interesting, pointy if possible, with a low heel. I'd been in stores and cruised the internet to no avail. It was either the same boring square or ballet flats. Until now...
Yes, the man who owned the tiny store called you wingtips, but he assured me you were handmade leather - thus the color variations - and are the hottest thing in NYC right now. How would I know? I'm from Alabama. But he lived in Huntsville for 5 years, so I can trust him. And when I put you on the first time, I felt like Gregory Hines and had to suppress the urge to tap across the store.
Yes, Drew said you looked like men's shoes, but I explained to him that I have always had a penchant for manly shoes, and at least you're slightly pointy. Dean was similarly condescending to you, but don't listen to him.
The search is over....you'll be with me a long while (apologies to Survivor).
Now to order a pair in black.