Sunday, August 29, 2010

Wahhh! Wahhh! Wahhh!

This is a muslin. This is only a muslin. This blog is conducting a muslin of the Vogue 8379 Wrap Dress. If this had been an actual dress, you would have been instructed to proceed to your nearest department store where actual fashion is sold. This concludes the muslin of this blog.

It started out so promising. I like the look of the bodice - not showing too much cleavage, uh, I mean ribs.

Oh, I'm a little cocky even - this is my first real collar!

So how did I turn into a portly 60-year-old in the very next picture?

Well, there are the stripes of course. The salesgirl warned me I should run the stripes vertically instead of horizontally when I bought the fabric. Lucas told me I looked pregnant when he took the picture. "Big fat belly," he said, patting it. This picture tells me I am not dress material. I have legs meant for pants.

And I know I'm doing the ties wrong, because one tie goes to the floor. (I could take Jake for a walk and tie this to his collar instead of using a leash.)

So I tried wrapping it all the way around and that actually looks better because I think a belt is needed to hide the front seam - it looks less dumpy that just moderately dumpy instead of extremely dumpy. Man, how can I be so skinny in my head and look so big in this picture? Look at my boobs - I look like my grandmother!

So I know a really big reason is that it's too big. I bought the size 16-22 for some reason, but wanted to cut a 12-14 when I measured myself again. Doh! I thought about buying the right size, but I don't really think this is me, even with cute non-stripe fabric. The dang label says it's for every figure type EXCEPT the triangle, which is a euphemism for pear. And don't even get me started on the length of the skirt. If I hemmed it just above the knees and cut out some of the skirt fullness, things might work out between us, but I'm just not feeling it right now. (Maybe I'll see if my mother wants it, since she already IS a portly 60-year-old.)

OHHHH - now you know I'm just kidding, Mom! A good comedian always ties his last punchline in with his first joke, right? And P.S., if any of you ladies says something nice other than, "Your shorts are really cute in the 2nd and 3rd pics," I'll know you're lying, so let's keep it honest. Negative comments can't hurt me worse than these pictures do.


sewistafashionista said...

The waist is too loose. You have cute little gathers in the bodice photo but the skirt drags them down. Getting the waist perfect on a dress can take some time. It looks like you are smaller than you think you are.

If you are saying that you are pear-shaped then the skirt needs seamlines within to cut visually into the hip area. The basic A-line is a very comfortable skirt but the A-line shape also comes in 4 or six gore. The gored skirts I have seen come out very pretty and may give you a little more structure to compliment the collar.

The collar and V-neck look beautiful on you. What about a shirtdress that either belts or has its own contoured waistband to give your waist definition? Or a dress with either a gored, or a straighter skirt?

Just ideas. I hope you haven't given up on dresses altogether.

Ann's Fashion Studio said...

funny post ~ and I do love your shorts :)

Pammie said...

Wow! The collar and bodice look beautiful - I haven't attempted a wrap for exactly that reason - I'm narrow in the hips!! I think if you cut it above the knees you could show off some sexy legs!!

KID, MD said...

The collar/bodice does look good! I agree that it is too big. It looks much better cinched up, since the waist isn't pulled down by the skirt in that pic, but the bodice is too big, giving you the grandma boob look. That fabric and the horizontal stripes aren't doing you any favors either. It would be better in an ITY or matte jersey, and about 4 sizes smaller (maybe more!)

Good thing it's a muslin! Look at all you learned!

gwensews said...

You would look fabulous is a sheath dress. This one is probably just not your style. Try again.

Junior said...

I do like the collar & bodice also and agree that you shouldn't give up on dresses.

Sister said...

Awesome tips, ladies! I appreciate all the comments. I will probably try a sheath or a straighter skirt as suggested, with a more appropriate size and fabric and hemline. I'm newish to knits so I'm planning to browse Hancock's this week for a better one, and I'm prowling for a sleeker dress pattern as well. I'll keep you updated! P.S. My mother didn't want the dress - go figure!

Amy said...

Well.... at least it's only a muslin.

I think that you've already received some great ideas on how to tailor this pattern for yourself. Are you going to attempt to do so?

Sister said...

Well, Amy, I was thinking about it, but then I pulled out a Butterick skirt I made last year and wondered why I just didn't make some more of them. I just reviewed it on PR - I'll put some pictures up. Just a much better look for me. Plus I'd like to try a sheath dress...