Do You Hear That Ripping Sound?

It's my heart being ripped out of my chest. Now I'll cry at a good sappy commercial, but I wasn't upset that Lucas's school didn't allow parents to walk in their first-graders. I did that with Drew and took a couple of pictures and then was amazed at how long the parents wasted the teacher's time by not leaving. So last year Lucas was given a kiss in the car and told to get out!

But today he just left for his first spend-the-night with a friend. And it's all the way across the bay (a 30-minute drive). And I almost cried when he rode off with his friend's dad. Just the two of them - what will they talk about? He's in the center back seat - that's the one that catapults you through the windshield - what's that dad thinking??? What, no booster seat??? The roads are wet, it's been storming horribly, and they have to cross the Bayway - is he a good driver? RRRRRRRRRiiiiipppp!

Before he left we had a talk about appropriate comments if dinner consists of, say, okra:
M: What if she asks why you're not eating it?
L: I'll say I'm not vewwy hungwy.
M: What do you say when you leave the table?
L: Thank you for dinner.
M: Now if she says, "we're having waffles for breakfast," you will NOT say, "aw, I like pancakes better." (as was said to me one time)
L: But Mom, I DO love waffles better anyway!
M: And you will not walk around in your underwear in front of anyone.
L: But when we changed for PE at school we all had to change together and we even had to take off our undahweah!!! (Now I may have to look into that one...)

Anyway, it hurt, but I'm sure he'll have fun with his best buddy. And, hey, doesn't that mean I can sew tonight instead of watching Coraline?

Another Shirt

Sorry - you people are going to have to put up with my sewing projects. Kodak Gallery locks up the vault so I can't post the pictures there. Anyway, this one is to wear out to eat with some knee-length black shorts, or pants I guess. It almost ended up as a bridesmaid dress (see the poofy sleeve), but I got that outta there. I found the pattern on patternreview.com (see the box at left) and I have to say it looks much better on the better-endowed women. Oh well, I'll continue to flaunt my ribs as long as I'm able!

You know, the more I look at it, the more I think it overemphasizes my hips - dangit! Back to the pool hall shirt!

What the Heck is THIS???

Drew found this in the back of his closet and pulled it out in a fit of boredom. I showed him where the power cord was hidden in the back and how to turn it on - gasp! Magic! One piece of paper has now provided about 20 minutes of entertainment for both boys, despite the fact that the typewriter is on its last legs and the ink cartridge is half empty. It also won't backspace or self-correct, but the RETURN button is so fun!

They asked, "doesn't it automatically go ding and shoot back in the other direction?" Apparently I've exposed them to enough old 70's shows that a typewriter rings a bell....oh look, I made a pun! They're taking turns right now typing across till the ding and watching it fly when they hit return. Drew asked if they still sold cartridges for it - I bet only on Ebay. It's actually 25 years old, and I think it may have been a birthday present or something - a fabulous new electronic typewriter! What 17-year-old wouldn't love to get this on her birthday? (You didn't think I was a NERD did you?)

Sew What?

So what's that new thing on the left? Just the craziest, nerdiest thing and it's so awesome! I found a website for sewing nuts where you can browse patterns and read reviews complete with pictures of the finished product. There are thousands of women reviewing patterns and putting up pictures of their stuff. Fabulous! RIGHT NOW, there are 163 sewing enthusiasts on that site looking for patterns, machines, etc. You can buy fabric, read about machines, etc. They have online classes that you can download, contests, etc. SEWING HEAVEN!!! So nobody had reviewed the pattern I made, thus my review. And the chick who came up with it realized all us homebodies had our own blogs and might want to link the two - clever!

Okay, I know, nobody cares about sewing, but let me tell you the pink shirt I made cost $10 and tomorrow I'm finishing Lucas's pajama pants which will be posted up here too. And when Obamacare passes I'll be ready for the darkness that will descend upon us. If only I could get that garden planted.....

Speaking of Ho-shirts...

So I do not wear my new shirt to eat, but I DO get to pick the restaurant and I choose O'Charley's (Dean refers to it as O'Suckey's). We're driving up and I see a lovely lady crossing the street towards a motel wearing a halter dress. I point out, "Look, she's wearing a similar style to my shirt!" Dean points out that she's getting paid hourly. (Because she's carrying a really big gaudy bag and there's a gentleman walking about 10 feet in front of her.)

So we're seated in a booth, and a 6' tall woman is being escorted to her table. I can't help but look because she's tugging her shirt down. It seems that she's wearing a shirt like a coat-dress, and no pants. There are gray pantyhose, but no pants, and I'm so confused. The shirt/dress comes just below a critical area, but just barely, which is why she's tugging at it. She's followed by another woman who has a revealing shirt, lots of bling, and possibly a tiny pair of shorts. Both have very big hair. They're accompanied by a man. Five minutes later, 3 more ladies come in with revealing blouses, lots of bling, and very little coverage in the pants department. One has pink hair and another has purple hair. Ten minutes later, 2 more women come in similarly dressed except they have a toddler with them (oops!).

I tell Dean, "I would've fit right in at the convention here!" Dean thinks it's real nice that their boss is treating them to dinner. We both feel sorry for the family with 3 little kids who gets seated right next to their table.

My New Shirt

This is what I did while the boys were out of town and I had to work this weekend - I made a modern, fashionable, non-granny shirt! It took a long time to find a pattern that was up-to-date and not just all about pockets and collars. I could only find this one fabric that looked 2009 - everything else was animal skin prints (nothing screams Cougar like animal prints). I started Saturday night and finished Sunday afternoon. Dean announced we'd go out to eat, so I hurried to hem it and wear it to dinner.

When he saw it, he declared that I belonged in a pool hall with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth (oh, that sounds fun, but what will we do with the kids?). Drew declared it "awesome" and said he liked how the tie-dye stripes were going diagonally (it's all about cutting on the bias, baby), because if they were going horizontally they'd make me look fat.....he learned how to give compliments from his father, apparently.

Anyway, I'm proud of it, and please notice the somewhat decorative hem, which I think in this case makes it look more store-bought, though the boys said it definitely looks home-made. Can't catch a break in this joint!

Why Didn't I Think of That?

Lucas was quite clever in figuring out a way to swing when nobody was around to push him! Drew tried it, but he weighs too much to get any momentum when Jake grabs the rope.

I'm happy they're outside playing these days. For a couple of days there, our TV and computer were running nonstop while the babysitter watched soap operas or texted friends and I could almost smell the brain rot when I came home every day. So we put our collective foot down and declared No More Screen Time!

The next day I came home to Lucas in his bathing suit with the hose pulled up in the fort and pointed down the slide. He was flying out and landing in the mud, so he had to work out a way to come down slower. Drew had taken several big boards and hammered up a new room under the fort complete with old patio chairs and a table. He told me he used 12 nails - I don't think that'll meet hurricane standards, but they're not load-bearing walls anyway. They also figured out it was fun to spray each other on the swing, so I don't think the TV was even missed.

It reminds me of the song, "If I Had a Hammer" by Tennessee Ernie Ford, or someone from HeeHaw like Archie Campbell (BAM! Who's got Mad Cow now???):
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the mornin'.
I'd hammer in the evenin', all across this land.
Or, well, you know, something like that.