Overstepping My Bounds

So I was going to blog about the schedule today and how busy it was and how proud I was that we made it to karate and 2 Scout meetings with a 15-minute dinner at Arby's (dine-in!) and kids changing in the car, etc. But this kid at karate broke my heart and I stuck my nose in where it probably wasn't wanted, so I need to vent.

I've watched this boy for 1 month now, and something is terribly wrong with him, but I don't know if his Mom knows it. He drifts in and out of awareness, and one karate instructor told the other one, "he's just lost," after teaching him a kata. This is at the YMCA, and he apparently comes straight from school and rarely has his uniform, so he routinely does push-ups and stands at the end of the line. For sparring one day Sensei told him to get his gear, so he followed the kids to their bags, then just stood there with his hands clasped to his chest staring into space. For 10 minutes he just looked into space, despite everybody telling him to get his gear. Turns out he didn't have his gear, so he just kept standing there.

One day he was in a group of 4 doing a kata for Sensei, and halfway through he just clasped his hands to his chest and went off into space - just looking off and wringing his hands. I asked another mother who happens to be a pediatrician if she had noticed his behavior or talked to his mom, and she said he'd actually "come out of his shell" over the past year. Helluva shell.

Last week the kids were saying he tried to walk home from the YMCA and got in trouble. Tonight a staffer brought him to class and made him sit on a bench till it started. She had him by the arm and all the kids were staring. He was agitated and told Sensei that he wasn't supposed to be there, he was supposed to be at school but he took the bus by mistake. She went to call his mother then came back to class and told him to sit till his mom came. Halfway through he got up and started edging toward the door. I was the only parent in there and Sensei was busy, so I called him to come sit with me and got him a chair.

He sat down facing away from me and continually picked at his hands and arms - his fingernails were long and dirty. I asked him about school and he told me he was supposed to be touring and today was the first day but he messed up and took the bus to the Y. I finally figured out he was saying "tutoring," and he said he hated to stay at school but his mom wouldn't come get him earlier. He said, "Her works at a beer plant," (interesting, because she wears scrubs) "but her could pick me up earlier if her wanted to."

So I cut to the chase and told him I was a doctor, and did he have a doctor? So this is where you gasp at my political incorrectness and I am ashamed of my in-your-face-ness. He says he has a doctor that gives him special medicine to slow his brain down, because if he didn't take his medicine his brain would be going too fast. Okay, sounds like ADHD medicine, but this kid needs an antipsychotic or something. Then he starts talking about getting shots at school and how he hates needles, and he's picking at his arms and acting out sticking a needle in his arm, and I'm afraid he's going to draw blood and hurt himself, so I change the subject. I ask him about brothers & sisters (I have a sister but her don't live with me - her's way older than me ), then about any pets, and find out he has a big backyard but nobody to play with and that's usually lonely, but it depends on what you're playing. He says it's real boring at his house but he loves animals. Oh, and the shocker that he's actually 13 years old and in the 7th grade. He's older than Drew...how has this child fallen through the cracks?

My heart's just breaking for this kid who keeps looking at the door to see if his mom is there, so when class is over I mention to Sensei that he needs a psychiatrist, and she says his mom took him off his meds for the summer and only gives about half of them to him now. So I wrote down the name of a behavioral pediatric specialist for her to give the mom if she wants - she desperately wanted - and I see her hand it to the mom when she shows up. We'll see if I get cursed out Thursday night or not.