My Saudi Arabian friend

Well I ran into a woman I trained with at said meeting in St. Petersburg. She's Saudi Arabian and told me she had a husband of 3 years - good for her! She invited me to eat with them one night, then said maybe we shouldn't because if he saw a tall blonde woman that wouldn't be good for her. That tends to make one a little skittish, no? Then she said he was very nice so I could drink in front of him. (Beg pardon?) Apparently it's illegal to drink in public in her country, and she said even in the privacy of a home some men would leave the table if a woman drank alcohol. (Honey, I'd've been alone at the table a long time ago!) He also speaks very limited English. Well, that sounds like a jolly good time - I'd be crazy to pass it up!

So we ate at an outdoor restaurant and her husband smiled nicely and was a good bit smaller than me (I was confident I could take him if necessary). She told me he and his brother were in the military and also royalty, and they had been in New York for a meeting at the U.N. Okey dokey! It also turns out he has several missions while they're in the U.S. that are top secret. At this point he says something to her and she says, "He knows we're talking about him." At which point I mime zipping my lips and tossing a key, which makes him smile and makes me think maybe he won't kill me just this minute.

Later our entrees arrive and she tells me he's upset that I'm not eating some of his chicken. Because when you host someone in Saudi Arabia you share your food and it's rude that technically we're not sharing. After lots of conversation which excludes him, he says something to her and she tells me he wants me to come with them. Where to? Why Vegas, of course! They're going to Vegas for 5 days when this meeting is over. I resist the urge to do a spit take with my second glass of wine (gasp!) and politely decline, then he tells her I should come visit them in Saudi Arabia. (Well sure - love to!) This is where I find out they have a house in the city with servants, but his sons live with their mother at the family compound. "Oh, is he divorced?" I stupidly ask. Then I find out they're allowed to have up to 4 wives....alrighty then!

Anyway, I finally finish dinner and say thanks and goodbye (and shake his hand with a clap on the shoulder, which I'm sure means he has to go purify himself and possibly amputate that hand). They sit back down at the table and as I walk away I turn back to see if they're leaving yet, and they're both sitting there watching me....waiting for the hired car to careen around the corner, jump the curb, and snatch me up for my midnight flight to Saudi Arabia where I will either be forced into life as #5 or beheaded, you make the call.

Needless to say, I frantically called Dean as I walked as fast as I could back to my hotel, then desperately locked myself in my room and waited for the heavy footfalls to come for me down the hall. I also called my mom to tell her I loved her. (And if I disappeared to look for me in Saudi Arabia.)