Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Bad Mother

Oh, but I'm not always a good mother. Lucas has been packing his own snack in the lunch box since we're pushing self-sufficiency, but I looked in there last week and found a napkin where he wrote "Lucas I love you, Mom" with a drawing of me. My heart fell - my poor baby was forging sweet notes from his mother to keep up with his classmates, I guess.

I immediately turned the napkin over and kissed it with a mouthful of lipstick (we were going out - I don't normally have that much lipstick on!) then drew the rest of the face and wrote "Hugs and kisses! Love, Mom" Hope that made up for it. He's still got the same napkin in his lunch box a week later, so he must like it. (He also prefers to wipe his hands and mouth on shirt fabric, so that's why the napkin's lasted this long.)

Gainfully employed M looking for Older F


We were eating dinner last night and I asked Lucas if he has a girlfriend. He said, "yes," so I guessed it was one of the girls in his class last year, and he said, "you know her, but she's 14." So of course I knew it was Amy (our friend's daughter of bowling and bass guitar fame), and Lucas said his friend John keeps teasing him about her. He told John she doesn't live around here, because apparently John thinks he knows her. Lucas is trying to teach him about long-distance relationships with older women, I guess.

Then he says he has a crush on a girl in his class but she doesn't know it. When Dean asked him about her, he said, "I think I'll just......uh, use her in college."
EXCUSE ME?! We said, "Use her for what?"
He said, "You know, M-E-R-G!"
"Merge?"
"No, M-E-R-I-G."
"OHHHHH, marriage!"
Big smile and wink.

He's out in the front yard right now selling "FUNY SUPPLIES" which consist of 2 stuffed toys, 3 copies of the cow poem Drew taught him (Birdy, birdy flying by, dropping bird poop in my eye, I just sit here. I don't cry. Gee I'm glad that cows don't fly.") and assorted trinkets. This young entrepreneur will make some woman an excellent husband one day. sniff, sniff

Monday, January 19, 2009

Of Waffles, Mimi, and Shower Curtains

Dean and Mr. Jim were both working tonight, so Mimi came over and the boys and I took her out for dinner. That sounds so warm and nice - you're thinking, what a great family! In reality, this was a trip to Waffle House where we sat in the smoking section to avoid the thugs in No-smoking. Luckily, there were no thugs in Smoking until we were paying the bill, at which time 3 20-something year old thugs took a booth next to us to light up.

These boys had big appetites - it was a waffle and chunked hashbrowns for both, plus sausage for Drew and bacon ($1's worth off the value menu!) for Lucas. Mimi got an omelet plus a full serving of bacon with hashbrowns, and I had my usual Texas patty melt plate - YUM!

Lucas listened to the waitress call out the orders to be sure she did it right, then gave us updates on what was getting put on the grill and in the waffle iron. He was the first to notice that his and Drew's waffles went to a lady who walked in later for takeout. But in all fairness, the hashbrowns and meat had come sort of as an appetizer, so delayed waffles were not a big deal. He ate every bite then asked Mimi if she was going to eat all her bacon, as he only got 2 strips when he usually gets 3 or 4. (Note to self - kids will notice that the $1 menu means less if they're used to ordering off the regular menu. Remember this at new restaurants!)

Anyway, it was a lovely meal which brought back memories of eating with my dad at Huddle House in Sylacauga - except the smell of cigarettes was FAR less tonight and the waitress didn't hang around joking with us or asking where Lightsey and Reams were. (My dad was the original Pick-up Artist without the fur coat and aviator goggles that Mystery wears on VH1 - that will deserve a blog of its own.)

Later when Mimi went home, Lucas was getting in the shower, so he poked his head out of the bathroom to tell her bye. I then proceeded to talk her head off at the door as usual, so when she actually drove away Lucas was out of the shower. He was sniffing when we got ready to read his book, and I asked what was wrong. He said, "I feel like such a loser. I thought Mimi was leaving, so I hung out in the shower and didn't twy to huwwy. But when I got out she was still here, but I didn't get to hug her before she left!!!" That last part was sobbed and my heart broke for him! I told him he would see her this weekend ("that's 7 whole days away") and snuggled extra long with him. To change the subject I asked him how he liked his new shower curtain (p.s. it's a clear shower liner, but he got to choose between the $7 white one and the $5 clear one - I do spoil my children!), and he said "it's good, but since it's new I was a little nuhvous." Huh? I only get nervous when the liner's NOT new and is covered in black and pink spots, but this kid's different!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Treadhoods Yo

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We run a tight ship at Dr. Fun's Penitentiary (see blog entry 11/29/08), and we highly encourage physical fitness. The bros can put on a hoodie or go shirtless to show off their ink while workin' it out on the tread. I doubt they'll get an early release for good behavior....but good dancin' might get 'em probation!

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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Watch Out Tamilee! For Me, I Mean...

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So this doesn't look like strenuous exercise at all, but I'm actually going 4 mph, which is pretty decent. I think it's that my legs are so long and I'm apparently quite Marfanoid, so it doesn't look like it's fast. What you can't tell is that I ended up sweating rather heavily after a couple of takes. (That just proves that I'm out of shape, not that this is great cardio...which it really is.)

I don't think Tamilee has anything to worry about. Even if I did have big muscles like she does, I certainly don't have the wardrobe or cleavage to pose a problem.

This is not how I look in my head.

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Again, when I'm on the treadmill with earphones in, I am SO SEXY during this song! Somehow that all gets lost in video. I like it better in my head - maybe it should've stayed there! This is also about 4 mph, but if you'd rather run, crank it up! Just be careful or you'll fall off the treadmill like I nearly did.

Now for a cool-down, I like that Decemberadio song "For Your Glory" that I linked a few weeks ago. You just have to remember that it's a cool down, so no "testifying" or you'll get your heart rate back up!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Still Going!

Uh-oh - January 6th and I'm still exercising! What's happening???? I did 30 minutes on the treadmill tonight after Scout meetings - go girl! I have a new idea for a brief video...stay tuned. It'll be inspirational for anyone bored on the treadmill, complete with song recommendations (hint: Disturbia by Rhianna and Let It Rock by Jeff Somebody with Lil Wayne - who coulda thunk it?) and speeds to maximize your cardio. Gotta work on the sound aspect - let me think about this. Anybody else sticking with a resolution? Also one glass of wine a night is holding strong. (Holding it down to one glass, that is!)

Oh, see there - I made another joke that will appall my mother or my sister one - loosen up girls!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Perfect Mother

That is me....I am the perfect mother today. I was not the perfect mother yesterday. You can't be perfect when you rush home from one hospital to pay the babysitter and grab the kids, then head to another hospital to dump the kids on your husband, who is also on call, so the kids sit in a lounge watching cartoons for an hour and a half. But hey, grab some ice cream for the ride home and all is forgiven. The perfectitude started at dinner when I actually steamed some carrots to go with the leftover chicken Dean had cooked. Vegetables for my babies....go, me!

Today I am perfect because I got Drew to a friend's house by 10 AM, handed off Lucas in the hospital parking lot to Dean who was on his way home, went in for work, then made it home to pick up Lucas and go get his friend to come play with us all day. I even had a neighbor in to play too. Three boys making aliens on the kitchen table with Play-doh everywhere - what fun! I made everybody lunch then proceeded to make the most delicious homemade lemonade with lemons from the backyard - yum. And I have since cleaned up the house so you'd never know about the Play-doh.

Now, I can only be considered perfect if you assume it is always Dean's responsibility to grocery shop and cook dinner, which we will assume, since my cooking is certifiably mediocre. So if you expected me to grocery shop and cook dinner today in order to be perfect, you're peeing in the wind (or something similar). Needless to say, my husband is perfect today as well, since the ribs are braising in the oven as we speak.

And did I mention that the boys and I rode bikes New Year's Day then did about 30 minutes on the treadmill/bike/doing crunches? And I did a 15-minute ab workout today? The resolution to exercise more is holding - thanks Sister. Being a perfect mother for a day is just gravy.